How I can help
Help with communication in Pontefract
In the words of someone who has stopped speaking up
I do not say what I mean any more. It feels easier to keep the peace than to start something. So I go quiet, or I say I'm fine when I'm not, and then I wonder why nobody understands me.
When we do talk, it goes the same way every time. One of us gets defensive, the other shuts down, and nothing gets sorted. I come away feeling worse, and a little further apart than before.
I'm not even sure I know how to say this stuff out loud. Somewhere along the way I learned it was safer to swallow it.
If this feels like you
Most of us were never taught how to say difficult things well. When that goes unaddressed, distance and resentment grow in the gap. If this sounds familiar, it may help to know what counselling can offer.
How counselling can help
Counselling is a place to slow the conversation right down and notice what happens when it goes wrong: where you reach for silence, where the other person reaches for blame, and what each of you is really trying to say underneath.
You can learn to put words to things you usually keep in, and to listen without bracing for a fight. Not scripts or techniques to perform, but a steadier, more honest way of being heard.
This can be something you explore on your own, or together with the person you keep missing each other with.
I'm Alison, a BACP registered counsellor. I offer counselling in person in Pontefract and Wakefield, and online across the UK. You are welcome to come as a couple or on your own. We can start with a free, no pressure 20 minute call so you can decide if I'm the right counsellor for you. Sessions are 50 minutes, at a pace that suits you.
If this feels familiar and you'd like support, please get in touch. A short, no pressure call or a simple message is enough to start.