How I can help
Relationship counselling in Pontefract
In the words of someone struggling in their relationship
We used to talk about everything. There was a spark, an ease between us. Now the evenings all feel the same, hardly speaking or only talking about practical things. One or both of us scrolling on our phones. It feels less like being in a relationship and more like living with a roommate.
We keep having the same arguments over and over, never really understanding each other or seeing things from the other's point of view. Sometimes I stop arguing because it never seems to change anything. I feel unheard, or like I'm walking on eggshells, or simply lonely in my own relationship.
I don't know exactly when it happened, but somewhere along the way the connection has been lost. The distance between us feels wide, as if we're drifting further and further apart.
There's no intimacy. I'm usually so tired from working long hours, or from doing everything in the house or with the kids. I don't feel I get the support I need, and if I did, maybe I wouldn't feel so exhausted.
Sometimes connection is found elsewhere and trust is shaken. Even then, I don't necessarily want the relationship to end. I just need my partner to understand how I'm feeling. They've apologised and want to move on, but I can't seem to forget, and they get frustrated that I can't forgive completely. Part of me still wants us to find a way back, to rebuild something that feels safe and alive again.
If this feels like you
You're not the only couple to reach this point. Distance doesn't always mean something is beyond repair. Often it's a sign that the relationship needs attention it hasn't had in a long time. If any of this sounds familiar, it may help to know what counselling can offer.
How counselling can help
Couples counselling isn't about deciding who is right. It is a calmer space where you can both be heard without it turning into the same old row.
Together we can slow things down and look at what sits underneath the conflict or the silence: the needs that aren't being met, the hurts that haven't been spoken, the patterns you've both slipped into without meaning to, and the different ways you each give and receive love.
You might be hoping to rebuild what you once had, or you might not yet know what you want. Either is welcome here. The aim is to help you understand each other again and decide what comes next.
I'm Alison, a BACP registered counsellor. I offer counselling in person in Pontefract and Wakefield, and online across the UK. You are welcome to come as a couple or on your own. We can start with a free, no pressure 20 minute call so you can decide if I'm the right counsellor for you. Sessions are 50 minutes, at a pace that suits you.
If this feels familiar and you'd like support, please get in touch. A short, no pressure call or a simple message is enough to start.